I think I might do Creative Writing.

If I do, my choices are De Montford University in UK or Southern New Hampshire in US.

I'd be a screenplay writer. For TV shows. Writing the best TV shows the world has ever seen. Better than Glee, better than Doctor Who. Maybe not as awesome as How I Met Your Mother, I can't think that far away. Or maybe I can. Who knows? I'll meet the best actors in my lifetime. Darren Criss, Emma Watson, Tom Felton, Megan Fox. Then, I'll progress to movies. I'll win an Academy Award. Then, as I grow old, I'll write books. Books worthy for the eyes of J.K. Rowling and Suzanne Collins. I'll be famous, rich. Happy. I love writing. I know that much.

I wonder how mommy would take that. Maybe I shouldn't care. It's time my life is about me. Not about my parents, my teachers, my friends, my family. So, why is it so hard to transition to living for me?

Today was my first day of school. I don't like it in the first class. The nicest teacher, my add math teacher, is already beginning to stress us. Here I thought we'd get some slack. I realize now that for the next 330 days of the year, no slack shall be cut for me. I've decided that I would create a different identity in that class. She's a girl who studies and listens to teacher, doesn't talk much, not because she doesn't want to but because the few people who would talk to her are either bitchy or occupied. She strives to get straight A+ for the sake of saving money for college and doesn't break down. She dissapears into thin air as soon as she steps out of the 15ft by 15ft classroom.

Out comes the girl you know and love. The one who doesn't know what she's doing, where she's going and why. The one who just wants to have fun, who smiles and cheers her friends on. The one who eats a lot while saying, 'I need to lose weight.' This girl does break down, but she only does so in her shower, where no eyes are watching her and no ears are straining to hear her. Her favorite past time? Watching TV shows online, movies in the cinema, fictional books and her iPod.

I think this is a good idea, don't you bloggie? At least I have one year settled. Let's take this one step at a time, shall we?

Bloggie. Most of my friends have left me. At least I have you. :)

Just so you know, bloggie, I HATE this song. But it is so suitable for me right now because I seriously want to put a bullet in the fucking heart of the fucking people who fucking ruined my last year at school.

Fuck.

I've just found out that I'm placed in the first class at school. Yay. That sounds amazing, Jasmine. Like, woah! Dude, you're smart. You're smart as fuck. You should be proud of yourself. FUCK. TO THE. NO. I don't fucking care who fucking smart I am. I'm a girl. I love the people around me. I hate my fucking school. And therefore, I DON'T WANT TO BE STUCK IN A FUCKING JAIL FOR 6 FUCKING HOURS FOR 5 FUCKING DAYS EVERY FUCKING WEEK STARTING NEXT FUCKING WEEK FOR THE REST OF THE FUCKING YEAR BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THE FIRST CLASS IS. A FIRST CLASS JAIL.

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck FUCKFUCKFUCK.

I have virtually no one there to be my partner in crime. The people I finally got close to are the people furthest away from me. I'm fucking alone in this fucking jail of fucking ROBOTS WITH THE BIGGEST BRAINS IN THE SCHOOL. I am going to die. I mean, I know loads of people there who are nice but they have this alter ego that is triggered by being in a prison like atmosphere like that stupid class. THEY'RE ALL SO FUCKING SMART AND THEY BECOME SO FUCKING SMART BECAUSE THEY WORK SO FUCKING SMART AND WAYYYYY HARDER THAN I POSSIBLY CAN.

FINE. PEOPLE OF EARTH, WHO HAVE BEEN TELLING ME I'M A SMART ASS. YES. I AM IN DEED A FUCKING SMART ASS. AND THIS FUCKING SMART ASS DOESN'T WANT TO FUCKING STEP FOOT IN THIS FUCKING CLASS WITH FUCKING PEOPLE WHO STUDY ALL. THE. FUCKING. TIME. BECAUSE I WAS BORN FUCKING SMART I DON'T WANT TO STUDY IN A PLACE WHERE EVERYBODY STUDIES. I WANNA STUDY IN A QUIET LITTLE PLACE CALLED MY ROOM AT HOME. AT SCHOOL, WITH PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT, ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GOING TO TAKE AWAY MY FREEDOM? MY LIFE? MY FRIENDS ARE GONE TO FUCKING AWESOME FUN CLASSES. [I only have one friend with me in my class and she's fucking studious as hell] YOU'RE GOING TO SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF ME AS THE YEAR GOES BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT? THE ONLY REAL SOCIALLABLE LIFE I HAVE IS AT SCHOOL WITH FRIENDS.

And so that ends the rant of the day because if I continue, I will start flooding my computer with my tears. yay.

So, since the last time I posted, several things have happened.

I finished the Harry Potter series and now I'm stuck to my email, waiting for the Pottermore welcome email to complete my life.

I have gotten over you. Or, at least... I hope I have.

I've told Jasvin about you. And I've also told him how I'm over you.

I turned 16.

I got lonelier. Exactly how that is possible, I'm not sure.

My need to get out of school is over the top. I need to get away from here. Away from everything I hate and everything that hates me.

I started writing again. =) Only, now I didn't post it anywhere and nobody's read it. So, if I stop writing, nobody would get dissapointed. Rather, I wouldn't think that my writing is awesome enough for people to be dissapointed.

There's a new girl named Jasmine in my class and my teacher switched our Chemistry marks which just.... To say it took me by surprise would be an understatement. I blew. I shouldn't have. I sounded like a bitch. But, the worst part is, you think I'm a bitch. So, yeah... Whatever. I couldn't be bothered anymore. I'm so tired, I don't even want to try... Yet, why do I still try?

My ability to take life one step at a time is decreasing as we speak. I've never been so laid back and thinking about so much at the same time. I don't want to go to school anymore. I wanna quit. I wanna scream at several idiots' faces and I wanna call them idiots before I take off to the other side of the world.

I spoke to Roxeanne. The girl finally got a webcam. =) Miss you.

My house has become an equivalent to a hotel. My mother thinks it's okay to let the entire extended family in, kick me out of my room and stuff me between my parents. She also thinks it's okay to let my cousins bully me and my aunt basically call me useless because I can't eat her food. But, you know, that's cool. Even if I wanted to cry my heart out, I can't. I tried just now. It's either I ran out of tears or I've gotten so tired that I can't even be sad anymore.

I think I've lost weight. Last I checked, I lost 500g. =)

We got Astro HD. Next month, imma start watchng Korean dramas again on One HD. XD Protect the boss and Secret Garden here I come baby.

I stopped cussing, and started again. Stopped because of you... Started because I'm too extremely exhausted to give a shit about you. So, yeah.

I got a distinction for Grade 7 Practical Piano.

So, basically... Since the last post, the graph of my life has dropped dramatically. I am now a lonely gleeky cassie with a potterhead, yearning for love that isn't connected to a family of which I doubt my relationship with and failing at everything. Welp, at least one thing's going right: the Internet. [I mean siriusly. Even music sucks nowadays. WTF HAPPENED TO THE WORLD?!]

credit: rainbowsqueeze@tumblr

Like Now.

What irony. It seems that the only way I can get you off my head is by getting your number.

credit: http://jae-yah.tumblr.com/

I know... I haven't posted in a while. Well, I'm sorry baby. I got a busy month that's ending in about a week which is really sad because time is passing so freaking fast and I just want my pacifier back.

"WHAT?! A BUSY MONTH?!! WHAAAT?! I bet you only have some exam for a week and some tuition, you're just making excuses." Whoever it is who has nothing better to do than to come to my blog and read this post would probably be asking their computer/iPod/iPhone/iPad/phone/netbook/laptop/allkindsofotherinternetaccessiblestuffs this. If not, then, my blog came to life. Either way, somebody has to say this line or my post can't go any further.

SO ANYHOO, no. Not one week. But, three. F*cking. Weeks. of exams. I mean, SERIOUSLY?! First, you give me this STUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPID thing called ESSAYS for EVERY SINGLE SUBJECT even MORAL. And, I'm like, okay, you're trying to totally break my hand so I can never write again. You're cruel but, okay. AND NOW YOU TELLING ME THAT I HAVE TO DO THAT FOR 3 FREAKING WEEKS?! ARE YOU F*CKING INSANE?!!!!!

And I have to do this shit for 1 and a half more years. I'm going to DIE.

Okay, so the three weeks of exams are NEARLY over. I only have Add Maths on Monday, so I made it. Hallelujah.

But, then I still have choral speaking practice for the ENTIRE week next week till 6pm. I'm not complaining now, because it's for a good cause:

A pretty trophy and the name. And the fame. And the... bragging rights.

So, fair enough. 1 week of pure sleep, blown.

Then, I have to make a freaking magazine. Though, it's only three pages. Okay. And, I've got an idea of what I wanna do, so I don't have to brainstorm as well, I just let the inspiration come in. =D Smarrrt, I know. XD I've got one month to do that, and 2 weeks of holidays to do everything I can. Annnd, for a good cause as well:

Breast cancer awareness, Taylor's College possible scholarship and.... Pizza Hut vouchers. =D

I have piano exam on 31st of May. And I'm totally freaking out because I have this one piece getting me INSANE. And, my aural and my sight reading. Everything sucks and if I screw anything up chances are, immafail.

BUT. Andthistotallyruinedmydaymaybeevenweekmaybeevenlife...

Lembaga Peperiksaan Malaysia apparently made this verbal announcement that all students taking extra subject of Accounts cannot do the folio, which by the way is 40 marks for the SPM result. So, our SPM result for Accounts will be 100% from our papers, which means we get it MUCH HARDER. It's MUCH HARDER for me to get an A+ which is one of the few things I want in life alongside getting married to Jung Yunho. And, this.... THIS.... Is so unfair. It's not even like they did this for a proper reason.  They did this to DISCOURAGE students from taking Accounts. And, no. I'm not making this up, my friend asked our headmistress. I asked my Accounts teacher. IT'S TRUE. And, I'm here thinking, WHAT. THE. F*CK. You are the freaking government of this amazing country and you're telling me that you're DISCOURAGING students from taking accounts, being accountants or being able to do accounts by themselves to save money for hiring an accountant one day further down in our lives. You're DICOURAGING us from actually being smart, and thinking about the future about DOING THE FREAKING ACCOUNTS GOOD. And, you want us to NOT do accounts, WHY?!!! Accounts is a good subject. It is one of the 10 subjects that I have to take for my SPM that I actually like. It's something I'm actually good at. And, you're telling me that you're discouraging me from taking this paper. Well guess what?! I'M TAKING THE FREAKING PAPER ANYWAY. And Imma prove to you people that I can totally get an A+ WITHOUT YOUR STUPID FOLIO HELP. Because, why?! I LIKE ACCOUNTS. I wanna do accounts. And, I'm not giving up even if the world ends tonight.

I would really however lurve to do that folio so it would be easier on me. I mean, it's not fair, COMON. I'm taking Science stream here. And, it's not like I like science stream. I wanna go to accounts, but accounts doesn't have the freaking physics and I'm boring you guys. If there is a you guys.

Okay, so that's my rant for yah. Someone change the policy, please? Thank you. <3

I'm going to have a pretty nice weekend. =)

I miss Paris. It was so beautiful.

I'm watching Welcome To The Show on Viki and CONTRIBUTING! XD It's fun. =P

Got a tumblr... http://niceknowingyou.tumblr.com

Procrastinating, as usual. I promised myself I'll finish everything after lunch. It's 1pm now. I'm dreading the moment.

I lost 1kg over the week. So, let's count. I swim for 1 hour, 20-25 laps, for 3 days in a row, play basketball with my cousins and I lose 1kg. So, if I do so for another 4 weeks, keep my diet of small amount of rice, do not finish everything on the plates in front of you and no McDonalds, I should be able to get to my target weight.

HOLY****. I CAN'T DO THAT.

Especially considering I have to fight the urge to buy ANYTHING AT ALL from the freaking canteen. Stupid oily smelling, aroma luring canteen.

Oh well... Here goes nothing.

At least I can fit into my jeans AND my shorts now.

credit: photojojo@tumblr

MR.PINK!!!!! XD I like the look of it. It's so cute. =)

credit: donchris!™

I'm sorry, mommy and daddy. But, unlike the rest of the world, I don't like reading and watching many people die from various disasters when I'm in one of the few safest places on earth. So, don't keep telling me to make it a habit because I personally think it's disgusting.

What's more disgusting is how these pictures actually make the papers.

Imagine, you're in a shop in Japan, the roof's falling and the ground is shaking. You have a camera in your hand and you see a little girl crying under the table. The ceiling is about to crash and trap her and the best thing you can think of doing is to take a picture of it.

Wow.

Hopefully Japan will get back to it's feet. I still haven't seen it with all it's beauty yet. I don't think the world would be able to live without Japan. =(